| ATHEISM: | No s--t. |
| BUDDHISM: | "If s--t happens, it really isn't s--t." |
| CALVINISM: | S--t happens because you don't work hard enough. |
| CATHOLICISM: | S--t happens because you are BAD. |
| CEREMONIAL MAGIC: | I can make s--t Happen. |
| CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: | S--t is only in your mind. |
| CONFUCIANISM: | Confucius say: "s--t happens." |
| EXISTENSIALISM: | What is this s--t anyway? |
| FUNDAMENTALISM: | BIG s--t will happen... SOON! |
| HARE KRISHNA: | S--t happens Rama Rama. |
| HEDONISM: | There's nothing like good s--t happening. |
| HINDUISM: | This s--t happened before. |
| ISLAM: | "If s--t happens, it is the will of Allah." |
| JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES: | Let us save you from the s--t. |
| JUDAISM: | Why does s--t always happen to US? |
| MOONIES: | Only happy s--t really happens. |
| MORMONISM: | If s--t Happens, you have two wives to blame it on. |
| NEW AGE: | Visualize no s--t happening. |
| PAGANISM: | S--t is a part of the Goddess too! |
| PROTESTANTISM: | S--t won't happen if I work harder. |
| QUAKERS: | "No s--t here, please." |
| RASTAFARIANISM: | Let's smoke some s--t. |
| SANTERIA: | S--t Happens to your goat. |
| SATANISM: | Sneppah T--s. |
| SCIENTOLOGY: | Feces Occurs. |
| STOICISM: | S--t is good for me. |
| SEVENTH DAY ADVENTISTS: | No s--t on Saturdays. |
| TAOISM: | S--t happens. |
| TELEVANGELISM: | Send money or s--t will happen to you! |
| WICCANISM: | "Oh s--t, I got that spell wrong again." |
| YAWEHS: | S--t Happens to white folks. |
| ZEN: | What is the sound of s--t happening? |
| ZOROASTRIANISM: | S--t happens half the time. |
The above is a kind of modern folklore.
It has been circulating around for many years, with various authors adding an item or two.
My friend Ed, a former Jesuit Scholastic, says it is quite accurate.
Email us to suggest additional items. (Put "Humor" in the subject-line.)
Click your BACK BUTTON to return to the Humor Deepartment
AccessNewAge Home Page
Looking Deeper Magazine